Sunday 28 December 2014

A White Christmas...!

Hello ... and Merry Christmas!  


The trees are still up, the fairly-lights twinkling; the piles of presents now disappeared and replaced by swirling tufts of wrapping paper & ribbon; turkey/chicken bones picked clean and round tummies betraying the post-lunch snooze .... Christmas 2014 is DONE!

And what a happy time most of us were lucky enough to enjoy.

Santa has a strange old time in London this year.  We moved into our new apartment on the 2nd December, so he didn't have much chance to get organised in Ascot.  

The apartment took-up most of Santa's budget too - which was a very welcome gift by the way..!

Mind you, he did manage a fair old pile of presents, given the financial constraints of moving (although again, once the children visited just before they went off to celebrate Christmas with their families, those piles reduced significantly...!).

Julia and I decided to have a low-key, quiet Christmas this year, just the two of us and my Mum.  

I collected my Mum at 9.30 in the morning and brought her home - and immediately dialled-up her grandchildren in Australia using Apple's 'Face-time'.  Granddaughter Sarah was with her mother, but the two boys had spent the day with their Dad and they were winding-down in the evening over there.  Beers in hand and looking well fed and 'presented'..!

It is difficult to express the joy that a face-to-face call can generate.  


Mum sat in front of the large iMac with its big screen and was able to talk to her grandsons and see them in high-definition, brilliant colour and crisp as anything.  She BEAMED...!

I said to (ex) brother-in-law Harry: "it is so easy to just be normal and allow life's little, normal things to happen - which can bring such simple joy".



Then we sat in the lounge and opened our presents, before the expertly-prepared roast chicken was consumed and a bit of quiet TV was watched (despite the slight snoring which may have occurred...!).

And now we look forward to the new year.  

It is freezing cold outside at the moment (snow up north and temperatures below freezing outside here). Tonight is due to go down to about -5 deg ... luckily we'll be wrapped-up warm and enjoying our little nest.

The little Robin is about and some daffodils are already raising their heads (a few even flowered, although this week's temperature may have taken them out..!).  But we have passed the mid-winter solstice and can start looking forward to 2015.  

The possibilities, the opportunities ... Spring isn't too far away.

In the mean time, wishing you all a very festive (remaining) holiday season and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Cheers!

Friday 12 December 2014

Festive Cheer!

Today is the 12th December and Christmas once again approached, bearing gifts and goodwill, like a benevolent M&S Fairy trailing sparkles and fairy dust.


December will always be bitter-sweet … we lost my Dad in December three years ago.  Every year we celebrate his life with my Mum, sometimes with an early Family Christmas meal (complete with turkeys, silly hats and party games) but this year, having just moved into the new apartment, we went low-key and took my Mum to see the movie Paddington.

For all of you who are children at heart, this is a movie for you.  His little bear face, innocence and love of marmalade will set your heart strings humming and you cannot fail to simply `feel good’. 

My Mum was SO excited and she was completely caught-up in the wonder-world of `the bear from darkest Peru’ for almost two hours.  

If I was of a mind, I might be tempted to think the old man was manipulating us and making sure Mum wasn’t too sad.  He of all people knew how she loves such child-like fantasies.

Anyway, today is also my last day with the current contract - with Thames Water, the largest water utility company in the UK.  Hooray … time for a break and away from the politics.  

Don’t know how anything gets done sometimes with all the posturing, manipulation, backstabbing and nonsense ….  but I’ll be sad to say goodbye to some of the team who are really lovely people and deserve so much better!

 It does allow me to focus on the new apartment though!

As readers will know, this has been a long time coming. We started planning to `downsize’ in February 2014.  We sold our house in Windsor in April/May, but a combination of legal issues (the actual house boundaries did not align with the registered Land Registry plan) and lazy/tardy lawyers (not ours!) meant that the process was drawn-out so that we ended-up only moving into the new apartment on December 2nd 2014.  A ten-month process, but it was worth every minute of that…!

Our new home is a penthouse apartment in Ascot, about four minutes’ drive from the famous racecourse, with its own roof garden (not much use at the moment, aside from providing a snow patch in which to keep wine chilled..! But will come into its own in Spring, with a lovely BBQ/Braai, outdoor dinner table and separate chill-out seating area).  

The main room (Lounge, kitchen, Dining room) is a large, open- plan area and the installation of the new speakers (that I bought myself as a present earlier this year) provide a sumptuous, relaxing area.  

I just pour myself into the couch, turn on some good music and chill.  Lovely - one of life’s great pleasures!

Mum & the children are suitably impressed and wander around with amazed looks on their faces. For a girl of humble beginnings (from her family’s little terraced house in Luton), my Mum sometimes marvels at the journey she and her family have taken over the past 80 years. 

She really loves the new apartment and couldn’t be happier for us.

So, on to Christmas, once the decorator has finished painting & some of the `statement’ wallpaper has been put up …. the big pile of presents under the Christmas tree will be reduced as children visit us ahead of the actual Christmas (one is going off to a country Manor House in the Cotswolds, the other off to SA for a bit of sunshine) and Mum, Julia and I will be left to celebrate a quiet Christmas by ourselves. Low-key, very relaxed, lots of telly and nibble-food (no great big roast). No need to dress up, travel, or obligations to do/talk/listen/perform…!

I shall be enjoying the sound system though, even if it is Michael BublĂ© singing Christmas songs…!


Thursday 20 November 2014

Winter Wonders...

So … it seems like ages since I wrote something here. In fact, it is ages since I wrote.

Partly this is because we went travelling and spent time in South Africa (visiting friends & family) and then also in Turkey, where we worked on our tans (a faint blush in my case … almost black in my wife’s), ate too much and spent time at the pool or on the boat in the magnificent Turkish Bay.

The boats known locally as a `Gulet’ are almost floating hotels … food, drink, sleep if you want, dive in & swim in the sea if you want ….  It was, as you can imagine, a real chore and deeply difficult to endure.

Well, leaving and coming home was, at any rate…!

And then I was immediately requested to take up the role I had only just finished, as the guy who they had appointed was needed on an urgent `mission’, so would I mind terribly holding the fort for him.

Not really, said I, as long as we bump-up the day-rate and resolve some of the concerning issues……  Consequently I have been a tad busy since then.

And then there was the whole issue of the house.  We had it on the market you see.

We sold it and had an offer accepted on a lovely penthouse apartment in Ascot.  With a roof garden for my wife, so she still has plants to grow - and for me so I still get to listen to the birds and watch the trees…!

At which point we discovered a small sliver of land on our property that didn’t appear on the original deeds.  Cue multiple lawyers, management committees, the Council, Land Registry and any number of other hangers-on.


I have no wish to denigrate the honourable legal profession, but let’s just say it has taken an awful long time for everyone to sign a legal document, that everyone all agreed was correct and necessary to begin with.

God knows what must happen when someone disagrees….!

To cut a long story short though, we have formally exchanged contracts today. YAHOO…!  And we move into our new home in December, just in time to celebrate Christmas as we start another new chapter.

And all of this as Jack Frost starts to make his annual appearance and the Winter season fastens its grip on our lives. 

I’m hoping for a bit of snow this Christmas – the trees in the new garden are immense and will look fabulous groaning under the weight of layers of crisp, white snow. 

And we’ll have a little roof garden to feed the Robin, who follows us around and sings to me whenever I’m outside.

To my wife, who has managed this legal torture garden … Well Done and Thank You.  You are a wonderful, special, talented lady. 


With spectacularly good taste, by the way…!

To our friends and family who are looking forward to visiting us in Ascot - and that includes you Janet, with your Ascot Bucket List, Brenda, for your next trip, the McNaughties, who have been on this journey with us for years already (and not forgetting joining us in Turkey), my Mum, the children in all your guises ... and many, many others..



.... we’re looking forward to seeing you!



Sunday 21 September 2014

A little bit of Sunshine ...

Today is the 12th December and Christmas once again approached, bearing gifts and goodwill, like a benevolent M&S Fairy trailing sparkles and fairy dust.


December will always be bitter-sweet … we lost my Dad in December three years ago.  Every year we celebrate his life with my Mum, sometimes with an early Family Christmas meal (complete with turkeys, silly hats and party games) but this year, having just moved into the new apartment, we went low-key and took my Mum to see the movie Paddington.

For all of you who are children at heart, this is a movie for you.  His little bear face, innocence and love of marmalade will set your heart strings humming and you cannot fail to simply `feel good’.  My Mum was SO excited and she was completely caught-up in the wonder-world of `the bear from darkest Peru’ for almost two hours.  

If I was of a mind, I might be tempted to think the old man was manipulating us and making sure Mum wasn’t too sad.  He of all people knew how she loves such child-like fantasies.

Anyway, today is also my last day with the current contract - with Thames Water, the largest water utility company in the UK.  Hooray … time for a break and away from the politics.  Don’t know how anything gets done sometimes with all the posturing, manipulation, backstabbing and nonsense ….  but I’ll be sad to say goodbye to some of the team who are really lovely people and deserve so much better!

 It does allow me to focus on the new apartment though!

As readers will know, this has been a long time coming. We started planning to `downsize’ in February 2014.  We sold our house in Windsor in April/May, but a combination of legal issues (the actual house boundaries did not align with the registered Land Registry plan) and lazy/tardy lawyers (not ours!) meant that the process was drawn-out so that we ended-up only moving into the new apartment on December 2nd 2014.  A ten-month process, but it was worth every minute of that…!

Our new home is a penthouse apartment in Ascot, about four minutes’ drive from the famous racecourse, with its own roof garden (not much use at the moment, aside from providing a snow patch in which to keep wine chilled..! But will come into its own in Spring, with a lovely BBQ/Braai, outdoor dinner table and separate chill-out seating area).  

The main room (Lounge, kitchen, Dining room) is a large, open- plan area and the installation of the new speakers (that I bought myself as a present earlier this year) provide a sumptuous, relaxing area.  

I just pour myself into the couch, turn on some good music and chill.  Lovely - one of life’s great pleasures!

Mum & the children are suitably impressed and wander around with amazed looks on their faces. For a girl of humble beginnings (from her family’s little terraced house in Luton), my Mum sometimes marvels at the journey she and her family have taken over the past 80 years. 

She really loves the new apartment and couldn’t be happier for us.

So, on to Christmas, once the decorator has finished painting & some of the `statement’ wallpaper has been put up …. the big pile of presents under the Christmas tree will be reduced as children visit us ahead of the actual Christmas (one set going off to a country Manor House in the Cotswolds, the other couple off to SA for a bit of sunshine) and Mum, Julia and I will be left to celebrate a quiet Christmas by ourselves. Low-key, very relaxed, lots of telly and nibble-food (no great big roast). No need to dress up, travel, or obligations to do/talk/listen/perform…!

I shall be enjoying the sound system though, even if it is Michael BublĂ© singing Christmas songs…!

Tuesday 2 September 2014

Even More Family Matters

Well, it has been a few weeks since I put finger to keyboard, so to speak.  It has been an eventful time - I joined my wife for a quick trip back to South Africa and spent a very pleasant few days (Spring was definitely in the air there..!) visiting friends and family in both Johannesburg and Cape Town.

I caught up with ex-schoolfriend and fellow Blogger Janet and it was a fabulous few hours.  Amazing how the years just melt away when you meet someone who you knew so many years ago.

Both of us have lives, bursting full of news, stories, laughter tears and wonderful friends & family - those two hours were never enough to catch up.   More please ... when you visit Ascot ...!

And the visit to my Aunt Joan and cousin Brenda and family proved wonderful, as always ... and is partially responsible for the radio silence since then (well, that and the fact that I have been whisked back to work by a client who urgently need me to go back in and help them...!  Just as I was enjoying the break too...!

Anyway, the family time allowed me to catch up with Mum's sister and her daughter & family ... and as we were discussing this Blog and the various family connections I have been making, Joan mentioned that she too had been preparing a book, documenting her life.

I offered to transfer that to a Digital format ... and so, here we are a few weeks later and I am now able to release her story.  Joan's Memoirs.

I recommend it in particular to the Luen families, the Stevenson families, the Downes family and the Klonowski's ... and anyone who is interested.  It is a fascinating story.

I will include the link here (Joan's Memoirs) and wish you a pleasant read.

My Mum (who acted as a consultant on the Memoirs) and I will return soon with more of our own stories & pictures.


Tuesday 5 August 2014

Mum's Family

This week, this Blog has generated one of its little surprises again ...!  Out of the blue I received a comment from a cousin in Australia.  She was enjoying reading the posts and discovering things about her Aunt (my Mum) that she hadn't known about before.

We connected on Facebook and starting chatting.  Last time I saw Robyn (shown here with her mother Lyn), she was literally a baby and I a young boy - living in Johannesburg.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then and it was lovely to chat to a family member who had, for so long, been merely a name in a letter.  A fleeting discussion around a family table.

What I found interesting was that Robyn was unaware of some of the family members, their history and families.  I found myself wondering how much of the family I have 'missed' ... and what stories myself & my Mum have never heard.

So, I thought I'd put a few names & faces down.  Particularly with the LUEN family - my mother's side of the family. Maybe it will generate some further commentary...


My maternal grandparents were Charles & Gladys Luen.  Charles was born in Belfast and, from what I can gather, had experienced a very, very tough childhood.

As a poor, scruffy child roaming the streets of Belfast's less salubrious areas, he had been welcomed-in by the Salvation Army. They gave him some warm food, taught him to play a brass instrument ... and at one point gave him a bright red jumper with the Salvation Army logo on the front.  The first new item of clothing he had ever owned!

His mother was, as I understand it, a rather hard-line Catholic. She beat him up, tore off the jumper and burned it - in her eyes it represented some sort of devil worshipping organisation!

So, he was clearly a young man with a difficult background.  As soon as he was able to, he left 'the Troubles' behind him in Belfast and hot-footed it over to England.

Somehow he managed to end up in Luton, a town just North of central London (although probably considered way out in the countryside in those days..!).  Here he managed to 'snare' the lovely Gladys Gurney.  My grandmother was a rather mollycoddled child by all accounts. Even in her later years she would often 'take to her bed' with some malaise or other...!

She was clearly a very innocent young lady and not used to the wicked ways of the world.  Of course Charles, his 'luck of the Irish' and an incredible ability to spin silvery words, like some wandering troubadour, was charming, good looking, romantic and very funny.

He was also smart - he claimed to have wooed her in the local cemetery - as it was very quiet and not frequented by many passers by!  It wasn't long before there was a flurry of activity - and a wedding - and pretty soon they started on the first of what would eventually be six children.

There's was not an easy life in Luton - Charles was a 'Painter & Decorator' and they lived in a small terraced house with an outside toilet and very little to ease the difficulties of the 1930's British working-class.

With the outbreak of Word War 2, Charles signed-up and was whisked off to prepare for war.  He fought in the Artillery (the 'big guns') and eventually ended-up on St. Helena.

He never really talked much about his experiences, but as a rather thoughtful, well-read and sensitive soul (self-educated - he was prone to writing poetry), it must have affected him terribly.

By this stage they had six children - Joan (shown here with he mother), Lawrence, Hazel, Olive, Michael and Robert.  Sadly, Olive contracted Whooping Cough as a child and died.  Life was not easy in war-torn Britain.

In getting the soldiers to St. Helena, the ship carrying Charles had docked in South Africa and he discovered a wonderful new land, full of promise and opportunity.

So, as soon as the war was over and Charles had received his papers, he decided to leave the cold and brutal post-war Britain and set off to build a new life for his family.  He left them behind for a time while he found employment and set up a home.


My Mum talks about how they left England, waving farewell to grandparents, aunts & uncles (who would never see Charles & Gladys again) and the family set off on a boat to South Africa, where they ended up in the coastal town of Port Elizabeth.

The story goes that Robert, at that time a young boy, when first confronted by a banana (which he had never seen before) tried to open it by using a pencil-sharpener...!

Gives some idea of how tough their lives had been up till then.

The family settled and flourished in a much warmer climate, with (comparatively) larger homes, better food and access to paid employment.  Such things were in short supply in Britain in the late 40's and 50's.

Having said that, life could be cruel.  Mum's sister Joan left school, married and was pregnant with her first child (Arthur - now lives in the USA).  Her husband owned a motorcycle and, one particular week, offered Lawrence (seen here) a lift to visit a girlfriend.

She was Afrikaans and her father, like many of his generation, hated the English ('Rooinekke' - red necks) as a result of the bitterness after the Anglo-Boer War.  He had tried to separate the young lovers (which he admitted he regretted afterwards).

Unfortunately a truck driver, overtaking a vehicle on the 'wrong' side of the road, was not watching the road and the resulting accident killed both men.  A terrible sadness for a family - Joan losing a husband and a brother; Arthur a father he would never know.

Nonetheless, the family prospered and built a decent life for themselves.  In the picture below we can see Charles & Gladys on their verandah, with son Michael and my Mum Hazel.



 Mum left school in South Africa after a number of pointless years trying to master the language Afrikaans.  60 years later she is able to master some of its basics, but she was never going to need the language.

Her art training however, set her on course to work as a Commercial Artist and Window-dresser, which is where she later met my Dad  (more on the inter-office shenanigans later!).

 In the meantime, her elder sister re-married and entered the Salvation Army ministry.  Both she and her husband William eventually reached the rank of Major and worked tirelessly running homes for boys (with family difficulties), men (who had fallen on hard times) and even a hotel in Cape Town for some years ... which catered to Salvation Army families and those they help.

To this day I am a soft-touch for the ladies with their collection tins when the Brass Band plays in town around Christmas time...!

Brother Michael, the dark-haired young buck, rocking a a bit of an Elvis look in the family photo above, followed his Dad into the Painting & Decorating trade.

Some years ago I visited Michael in Port Elizabeth where he lived for the rest of his life (sadly he passed away not that long ago).  He was thrilled to catch up on old times and chat about my Mum and how she was doing in England again...!

The youngest of the bunch - and Robyn's father - was Robert (of the banana fame).  It must have been really difficult for him as, being the youngest, he would have had to make much more of a change.  In any event, he became a bit of a tearaway and I think his schooling suffered as a result.

He was, as I recall, a bit of a Beach Boy - surfer, sun-worshipper.  In his time he has been a construction worker, a chef, a butcher, a fisherman ......  You get the picture, he was a bit of a rambling man!

When I was still very young Robert met his wife-to-be Lyn.  I have vague memories of them visiting us in Cape Town (pictured here with my Mum) and Johannesburg, where he would strap young Robyn onto his back and drive out to visit us on his motorcycle, usually early on a Sunday.

He would sometimes bake fresh bread and loved our swimming pool (where I remember him dousing baby Robyn .... she learned to swim pretty quickly!).



Well, fast forward 40 years and Robert & Lyn live in deepest Australia (Geraldton I think?), his children are now all grown up and have their own children.  And, I'm sure, their own stories...!

I shall endeavour to add to these stories over time - and add some of the stories from other members of the family.  I'll close though, by including a telling picture from Mum's letters..... as we're discussing families - and the origin of (my own) species...!












Sunday 3 August 2014

Absent Friends

So, here I am sitting at the iMac, innocently doing my thing when suddenly a post pops-up on Facebook - from a wonderful lady and very good friend, who sadly passed away a few years back.

Not written by her, clearly ... her account is maintained by her daughters and every so often, a message 'pings' into my inbox - perhaps when one of her family are missing her, or when they post a photograph of her to keep her little face fresh in our minds.

Mo (Maureen) Pithey was a truly magnificent lady.


A towering force in the South African Newspaper industry, she wrote on any number of issues, but specialised (at least when I knew her) in Women and Teenager issues.  I worked with her on a number of events (Red Nose Day, Miss Rave [Teen] Shows, Fashion Shows, etc) and we became good mates.


Her smile was the most wonderful source of light and joy, crinkling her face and squeezing her eyes together in genuine pleasure; her raucous laughter, cackling down the corridors of 'Newspaper Power', mischievous eyes never missing a trick; her wicked ability to manipulate the South African Gay patois to skewer annoying fellow journalists, or officious people in power .... I loved her.

Through Mo, I was introduced to a whole world of fabulous, wonderful people - journalists, models, show producers, drag queens, dancers, photographers, agents, gymnasts, acrobats, circus performers, magicians and comedians, of every shade, religion, background, sexual persuasion and culture.

She opened my eyes to this magnificent smorgasbord of a world we inhabit.

I remember very fondly various occasions where we would be riding the wave of mayhem and madness - perhaps a marquee that had been torn apart and blown away in a major storm, requiring a last-minute change of venue for a Fashion Show ....

.... or the time we discovered that the 'teenager' who had arrived as a finalist in a 14-16 year old Teen Show - was actually an early 20's adult who had left the hotel where the group were staying and was drinking & carousing up a storm in the nightclubs of Cape Town (not the girl below - she won Miss Rave and was a lovely girl. Gorgeous too!).





Hiiiiilda Girl ! ... she would scream, cackling with laughter once we sorted things out, crinkling her eyes through the smoke, or settling down over a coffee to dissect the evening's events in gloriously funny detail.  The photo below shows her sitting next to me as we judged some event - probably a Miss Rave (teen) qualifier ... along with the sponsor and a local DJ.


This morning I was slowly getting into the Sunday groover when marvellous Mo suddenly popped into frame and, once again, made me smile and laugh .... she's able to brighten my day even when she's no longer with us.  She and I were in contact in 2010/11 when she was starting to plan her (and husband Doug) move to the UK.  Sadly, she never made it (although I still see Doug - and daughter Bodine - every so often), but her spirit is as strong as ever.

And, as ever. Mo reminds me of the important things in life .... don't sweat the small things, but make sure you cover the big ones.  Take a moment to remember absent friends every so often - you'll find it makes your troubles seem so much easier to deal with!

I'll close with the words I wrote to Mo (or 'Mumsy' as some of us were fortunate enough to be permitted to call her) when I heard of her passing.




I shall miss your laugh Mumsy.

Thank you for your friendship and that wry sense of the ridiculous.

The world really does seem a slightly less interesting place without you.

Be gentle with them up there.....

xxxxxxx

Monday 28 July 2014

Everyone deserves to be Happy...?

So, another day, another dollar ... as the saying goes.  The carnage still continues in the Middle East, Eastern Ukraine, etc, etc; the world watches and the politicians talk about talking ....

I do feel so sorry for the poor people caught-up in it all.

And yet, for many of us, life continues pretty much un-affected (so far) and we fight our various little battles every day - some wins, some losses, mostly we just keep battling.  And yet, occasionally, we are faced with moments of real happiness.

So I thought I'd focus on one of those and highlight some of the sunshine in my life, rather than the shade....!

Those who know me, will know that I have a sister who lives in Australia.  She will always be 'my little sister' and I'll always love her.

However, it is fair to say that, after a very difficult divorce, as well as some other family disagreements, our relationship is now best described as 'estranged'.

Very sad, but unfortunately that is sometimes the way of it.  Things happen and we all react in different ways.

Any divorce is tough, even the most civil and 'friendly' (such as my own).  I do not judge.

Having seen friends go through this experience a number of times, my own concern was always for the children - often the victims in these situations.

To be fair to Harry, my ex- brother-in-law, he does seem to have done that and all three of their children are growing into lovely young people.  And as they progress with their own lives, Harry has moved on as well.

Like me, he has also been challenged by cancer - in his case a very severe strain that affected his mouth and throat - the same variant that affected Michael Douglas (although he was at pains to point out that he had not contracted it in the same manner the Mr Douglas had claimed...!!!).

Throughout the last months of pain, illness, trepidation and treatment, Harry has been supported by his three children and his new partner Nadja and, after the 'all clear' several weeks back, they were married this past weekend.


No matter what had happened before that, this was something for them (and us) to be happy about.

And, to be fair to my Mum, she is a simple soul and not one to bear grudges, or stay angry.  She is thrilled to have contact with her grandchildren and to know that they are well and happy.

So, the day before the wedding, we called Harry on Face Time (sorry Skype-lovers..!) and had a face-to-face chat with the groom-to-be.  In fact I had spoken to Harry and the two boys the evening before, but they were still asleep at this early time in the morning - as Harold prepared his speech!

No matter, we were able to thank him for the contact with the children and wish him well with his new wife, her two daughters and his own three children.

And Mum got to bury a few hurts from the past few years - and personally thank the father of her grandchildren for bringing up such lovely young people.

Genuinely, a small, but significant ray of sunshine in this time of sadness and worry for so many.

And, in a salute to our family 'Down Under', some photos from the ceremony.

With the bride, her daughters and mother is my niece Sarah (bottom right) also looking beautiful.

And below, with the groom (centre) are my two nephews Taylor and Graeme. All splendidly turned-out in their dark suits and yellow ties (& socks!).

Well done guys!



So, how about we all take a moment to find the things we can be happy about - on our own behalf, or on behalf of people we love.

Harry and Nadja - Congratulations and I wish you long life and much happiness.

And to Taylor, Graeme and Sarah, we all love you and we're glad you were able to enjoy some fun and laughter.

Life can be tough, so grab the good times when you can.....

Wednesday 23 July 2014

What a tangled web we weave...

Like many people, I have been battling with an onslaught of images, statements, news clips, twitter feeds and all sorts of other media - all fighting to tell/show/explain the horrors of what is happening around the world.

It doesn't really matter where you look - Nigerian schoolgirls being abducted by the Boko Haram fighters (read 'lunatic/terrorists'), the absolute devastation that is currently taking place in Syria - really the stuff of nightmares, Iraq and Afghanistan, the ISIS atrocities, the murder of almost 300 innocent passengers in a plane over Ukraine - by the (so- called) pro-Russian Separatists - and the nightmare that is Palestine and Israel.

It is as if the Nostradamus predictions are being played-out in grisly, blood-spattered detail across our ravaged world.

I can remember being a young man at school, studying History and learning about the Anglo-Boer War, the two World Wars and any number of South African Battles between colonists, Boers and native Black South Africans (Blood River, etc).  They never really made us understand the horror and awfulness of it. For most guys my age, the first time they really understood ... was when the Apartheid government packed them off to fight on 'the border' - against the 'terrorists'.

Suddenly they (on both sides) came face-to-face with death, blood, pain, fear and indescribable, injury-filled 'real' nightmares.  In my own case, it was seeing a blood-soaked baby 'stroller' in the aftermath of the notorious Pretoria bomb (1983) and talking to an 18-year old army conscript who was collecting small body parts in a shoe box...!

And let's be clear - the main reason they all fought, feared, fell and died, was not, as we were all told, to defend the country, our families, our lives ..... it was to feed the voracious appetites of the political classes.  One side wanted to rule, the other side didn't want to give it up.

I realise that there is much more to it than that, much more complex arguments, the excrement that was the Apartheid system, international finance, etc, but the thing is, when you leave people to themselves, they tend to rub along OK and essentially, all we want is to be able to live in peace, build a family, a life, a legacy.....

My career has brought me into contact with some of these political classes.  I have never been particularly fond of them - I believe that, in order to be a successful politician (of any denomination), you have to give up your ideals as you walk in the front door, because a successful politician's life is all about compromise.  You WILL have to, at various points in your career, made decisions and support actions that directly contradict what you say you believe in.


So why the rant ....?

What is making me so fed up is watching and listening as the "rabble" take to the airwaves, the TV and social media to pour their outrage into our lives.  But isn't it slightly ironic that this outrage seems to be primarily aimed at Jews  (I do not consider myself a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist,  or Atheist by the way - I'd like to think they all have something to teach me..!).

To be clear, I am no friend of 'Bibi' Netanyahu and I do not believe the answer in Palestine is simply to continue the bombing.  But let us take a moment to analyse the outrage.  A friend complained yesterday that Sandton (Johannesburg, SA) was brought to gridlock by a 'pro-Palestine' march.  In London on the weekend, the same sort of march trumpeted how many thousands of people had been marching.

But here's the thing I really have a problem with.  People in the march holding posters saying "Hitler was right".  A UK Member of Parliament saying "If I lived in Palestine, I would be sending rockets into Israel" .... ???

Apparently in Gaza right now, only 15% of the population support Hamas, an organisation that is led by portly men living in luxury in Qatar ... you don't have to look far to find the videos online showing them soaking up the sun alongside their swimming pools, eating and drinking and enjoying life while the real Gaza population are bombed out of existence.

And, for the record, FAR more Muslims are killed by other Muslims each year, than Israel or "the Jews" can be held responsible for.

Where is the outrage at the carnage that is being waged on innocent Muslims - by other Muslims - in Syria. Or Iraq.
Or the Russian FSB killers that have been 'blooded' in Chechnya and now control the fighting in Ukraine..?
Or the outrageous acts by ISIS...?  Only today I saw a photograph of four young, pretty women whose throats were cut and they were left in a tangled, bloody mess in a shower cubicle - simply because THEY WERE CHRISTIAN...???

By all means fellow humans, let us roar with outrage and scream at the top of our lungs for the Political classes to listen and change things before they spiral so far out of control that no-one can control them (I believe this is already the case in the Ukraine) .... but let us be fair and even-handed with our outrage.

"The Jews" are not responsible for this carnage. Neither were the 'white South Africans', or 'black terrorists'. Nor are the Shia or Sunni Muslims, or Christians, simply because of their faith.

People are responsible.  Greedy, murderous, self-righteous, fanatic, lunatic people.

For the rest of us, I suggest we follow my Mum's wise words ............ just LOVE each other.





Thursday 17 July 2014

Taking Stock ...


Sometimes it is important to sit back and take stock.  Of your life, of the people you love, of the world in general and your little slice of it....

Earlier today I read a post on the blog of a friend of mine.  She has decided to stop writing her blog (as it is) and take a break and will start a new blog when she is ready.  I took a moment to scan through some of her updates over the past years - happiness, sadness, joy & laughter, family celebrations, remembering those who have passed away.... it was a capsule of her life over a number of years.  And boy, has it changed!  Good luck my friend in the new chapter...!

So, it set me to thinking.  Here I am now, sitting in a well-known Cafe in Windsor, sipping on a Latte, browsing the web on my iPad.  Very Metro-sexual, urban, man about town.


About 10 years ago I remember writing an email to my folks, using my laptop connected to my Nokia 'Communicator'. 

I was sitting on a train as I headed from London to Birmingham for a business trip - so impressed with the advance in technology .... with all it's intermittent jumps and starts, limited bandwidth (heaven forbid I wanted to download a photograph) and dodgy cell coverage.

And in the 90's (1997?) I remember sitting in my office in Cape Town, talking to my father who was in Greyton, marvelling that I was watching a live feed from the Mars Rover (on Mars..!), via a series of satellites, computers in the US and technology all over the globe....  

How my Dad would have loved the technology of today.  How much it has changed in the 35 years since I left school, full of the boundless optimism of youth, ready to grab life and squeeze every last drop out of it, like some big, juicy lemon.  

I had no idea what to expect ... as, I expect, was the case with all of my fellow school-leavers.

Over the years I have watched them (some of them) as their lives unfolded in all sorts of unexpected ways.  One of my best friends (we'll come back to her in later blogs) was told she would "never amount to much" by a teacher.  She is a millionaire business-owner, wife and mother now (and a very good friend).

Another really close friend was a real health & fitness guy, always running, playing sport, eating healthily ... he died before he even reached 30.  Very sad.  I've watched and (hopefully) helped with a shoulder to cry on - as various friends suffered marriage breakdowns, mental health problems, depression and any number of other life-altering experiences.  As I have myself.

One school friend - a lovely, lovely woman in every sense of the word - was communicating with me (technology again) as we both fought cancer.  I was lucky - her family still suffer the huge loss she left behind.  Bon voyage Helen, you were the very best of us all.

So - if I take the moment to look at my life now and how it has changed over the 35 years since I left school - I am amazed.  At the luck I have had, the wonderful people I have met and who have so enriched my life; my Mum (and Dad, bless him), my wife & family, career and material success, the ability to participate in this fantastic technology....  I really can't complain.

I am but one apple in the orchard, but I have been so lucky and I am so grateful for it all.