Happy Birthday Grandad

So, here we go again.  "Another day older and deeper in debt" as the saying goes.

Wednesday 11th February began as many previous birthdays have. Quiet, not a big fuss and a few lovingly wrapped presents from my wife, along with a cup of tea in bed.  Followed by a 'Balloon in a Box' from the God-children...!

With the possible exception of 1990, when Nelson Mandela was released from prison on this day; or in 2012, when I was able to celebrate the first 'cancer-free' birthday.... this was pretty standard stuff.

Its a funny thing - when you are faced with your own mortality, you start to live your life slightly differently.  Before that, it is as if life is just something you live. It is your birthright. 

Often consumed in a mad rush to finish school, get a degree, get a job, get laid, get married, make a fortune and be successful ... it rushes by.

Once you have had a medical professional quietly and seriously talking to you, giving you statistics and probabilities, discussing options and outcomes .... once the shock wears off and you (eventually) process it all, you start to look at things really differently.  

Staring at a tree waving in the breeze; watching the birds floating on wind eddies and swooping down to feed on some seeds (helpfully placed in the garden by my Mum..!).

Feeling the sun on your skin, baking down on a summer day at a Wine Farm; settling down under a parasol to lazily pick your way through a Picnic Hamper feast, wine sparkling in a glass with little beads of moisture tickling their way down the glass (in the days when I still did...!).  

The look of a spaniel with his head cocked to one side, staring at you with all the love of a Bobba (Jewish Grandmother), or squealing in delight as he paints your earlobes with his wet little tongue (never mind that he only saw you three hours before) ..... 

....... these things take on a huge new meaning.

Life goes from black & white to Supernova, high-intensity, full-colour HD.  Little things start to become HUGE .... and big things don't always have the same scale any more.


Hence, when I arrived for my birthday dinner at a lovely restaurant in Bray (Heston Blumenthal's centre of operations for the foodies among you), I was savouring the pleasure of celebrating with my family.  My Mum, Julia, daughter Lauren & husband Ryan, son Joseph and his fiancee Kate. Special, right?

To fully understand the impact of the unfolding events, it is helpful to know some of my history. ..... It was many years ago - and I was still a very young man - when my partner at the time discovered she was pregnant.  To cut a very complicated story short, for a variety of reasons (most of which were out of our hands) the baby was lost.  His mother named him Michael before she laid him to rest.

It took me almost twenty years to get the chance to discuss it properly with his mother and explain how much that had affected my life.  We are close friends to this day.  However, for this and many other reasons, I never had a biological child of my own.  

I have two children now - Lauren and Joe.  Although they are not my biological children (their father passed away three years ago), it is better than that - they have both chosen to take me as "their father".  

It is difficult to explain how special that makes me feel.

Some readers will know that I was asked to 'give Lauren away' at her wedding to Ryan.  These are deeply moving emotional moments - words cannot really do them justice.

So, back to the Birthday celebrations in the restaurant in Bray - lots of laughter and chatter, a few presents next to the table - to be opened later - and an amusing conversation with the endearingly crazy Italian waiter, about people who he has served in the restaurant (Muhammed Ali - favourite. George Clooney, with a house nearby, so far not visited...!).

At which point I decided to read my birthday cards. Again, a fairly standard procedure, usually undertaken between drinks orders and the main course.  If I'm honest, I was expecting some tickets to a concert, or a weekend getaway. 

Opening the card, I was amused to read the cover, poking fun at my advancing years.

And then I opened the card and my world tilted ... like a bad porno movie when someone kicks the camera by accident!

Even writing this days later, I struggle to contain the emotion that literally pours into my heart.  It isn't big enough to hold it ... it wants to burst like a water-balloon dropped from the roof of a school.

I'm going to be a Grandad...............!!! 

The faces of my darling wife Julia, Lauren & Ryan and my Mum were enough to tell  me within a fraction of a second that they had no idea what was in the card.  In fact it took some minutes, filled with tears, laughter, screams and yelps of joy, to be sure that everyone around the table knew exactly what had just happened. 

Our Joseph and his beloved Kate chose this opportunity to announce her pregnancy.  And in some magical, special way, to gift that surprise to me - as the only Grandfather that young Leo Michael is going to have (that's him in the picture above, by the way...!).

My full-colour life just got  bit brighter.  My son suddenly became even more of a magnificent, insightful, kind, generous man.  The gorgeous Kate glowed with contentment and pride, managing to burrow even further into my heart - something I didn't really think was possible.

My wife, my daughter, my son-in-law and my Mum haven't stopped beaming and are all moving about in a haze of joyful tears, excitement and - lets be honest - shock.  And, while I'm not one for the esoteric, I am sure that, if my Dad is able to look down on us all, he is smiling the contented smile of a Great Grandfather who has just realised that his legacy is safe; the example he set as a man, a husband and a father will be taken forward .... his family's world has been set right.

Hey Dad, I'm gonna be a Grandpa.

Robins and Rainbows

Well, four weeks into the New Year and I'm staring out at a panorama of greys .... the bright, grey, London winter sky; the various shades of grey of the trees, wood stripped of leaves and just the slightest hint of green made by the little patches of moss that grow up in the branches when winter's freezing fingers strip away the foliage.  

Even the evergreen bushes have a grey sheen to them, catching the reflected colour of the sky above.  And this morning I watched as a grey squirrel burrowed into the grass, reclaiming his prize - some nuts or a bulb that he secreted there so many months before.  

Although I'm not a big fan of the grey squirrel (I prefer the red squirrels that are now only found in the northern regions of the UK), I can't deny that they look cute, especially when they shake their tails, which shimmer like silver dresses on a ballroom dancer, or when they chase each other, streaking up & down the trees, jumping from one to another and shrieking their excitement..!

One of the regular features of our UK winters - and a bright, colourful, fiery orange/red contrast to the rest of the grey surroundings - is the humble Robin.  They flit in & out of the lower bushes, protecting their little nests and feeding their young from the scattered seeds & nuts, especially under the ubiquitous 'Bird Feeders' that so many of the British place in their gardens.

They are exquisitely happy little creatures and I frequently get into conversations with them -  the Robin tilting his little head back and his neck and chest quivering as he warbles, tweets and trills, cocking his head in surprise and outrage when I reply with a rather sad whistling imitation ...!

For both Julia and myself, the Robins hold a more poignant, special place in our hearts - as we both lost a parent late in the year and were surrounded by Robins in the aftermath (funerals, etc), so they have become the virtual embodiment of our respective Mother & Father. 

We engage them in conversation and they make us smile with their happy, cheerful tunes, often jumping along the ground, or on a fence, right next to us as we move about the garden.  

I had a long conversation with an especially plump and colourful fellow last week - as he sat on my Mum's dustbin outside her flat.  I think he was after some seeds - Mum goes out every day with various bits & pieces to feed the birds.

However, with the strains of Mr Robin's song reverberating in my head, I had pause to think of some other colourful injections into my life during the cold and grey.  More specifically, special friends - who bring colour into the drabness of winter.  Our own special rainbows!

On Friday evening the children came over for dinner.  It had been meant as a chance to catch-up with ALL the children, Godchildren included.  Unfortunately the G/c had to cancel at the last minute as their Grandmother was ill ... so we went ahead with Lauren, husband Ryan and Joseph (whose fiancee was on a business skiing trip!).  Immediate family.

For many years now we have been blessed with the services and friendship of a lady called Naseema, who provides cleaning services to Julia & I, as well as my Mum and even Lauren & Ryan (among other families).  She has become a good friend over the years and, in the last months & weeks of my Dad's illness, she was one of the few people he felt comfortable with (despite the fractures in his mind, he always remembered her and was happy if he could hear her in the flat as he sat trapped in his immobile body and splintered mind).

Naseema is a Muslim lady, devout in her faith and a peace-loving, good humoured mother of three and wife to a lovely man. Husband and wife come from an area split when Pakistan gained independence from India, so they have families in different countries separated by a few miles (but in practice very separate).  They have experienced trouble and division (religious and political) in their lives, yet they epitomise the behaviours claimed by many of the principle religions .... love, family values, peace, generosity of spirit, charity ..... the things most of us would like to be associated with.

Anyway, for some time Naseema has been offering to cook for us - a proper, home-cooked Indian meal.  Unfortunately my wife has extremely sensitive tastebuds and avoids chilli and curries, but she eventually decided that this would be a wonderful opportunity for us to share some of Naseema's generosity.

Well, Friday evening arrived and Naseema and one of her daughters arrived ... talk about bearing gifts & goodwill..! 

Samosa, kebabs, roast chicken, lamb curry, chicken curry, freshly made Naan bread, Pilau rice, Biriyani and a variety of accompaniments.  What a feast..! More than enough for all of us .... and bags of food carried off home by the ever-hungry younger family members.

And it struck me that this simple act of kindness is such a special thing.  It didn't only bring the most wonderful flavours and aromas into our home.  It brought colour and fun and variety (truly the spice of life..!) and shared something intimate between two families (the food had been prepared for the whole day by Naseema, as well as her husband and children).

And in a Charlie Hebdo world that is being battered by religious fanaticism, it highlighted for me (once again) that most people are just like you and me.  They want to live peaceful, happy lives.  Lives with family and friends, where we celebrate our differences as well as our similarities.  Where a simple gesture of kindness is met with a reciprocal act, a smile, a laugh, or a shoulder shared to spill some tears.

I know that Naseema has swapped tears with my Mum - they have developed a mother-daughter relationship (Naseema's Mum died on the Indian subcontinent a few years ago, not long after Mum lost my Dad).  I know they practice different religions too, but when you strip out the customs, the theatre, the 'perceived wisdom' of often none-too-wise religious leaders, they are pretty similar at their core.

Love, respect, support, charity ......

And so, as I ponder on another of life's little gifts, the grey of winter seems a lit less grey, a bit brighter, a bit more colourful.  In this case, the colour of a Sari, a bowl of rich, red saffron stamens or a pile of yellow/gold rice.  And popping their heads out of the snow - some snowdrops and a few VERY chilly, buttercup yellow Daffodils.

Starting 2015 with a Bang..!

I have a bit of time on my hands .... as you can probably tell.

Anyway, it is the start of a new year and so i decided to revamp the Blog slightly.  Maybe reflect some of the energy I am detecting from friends and family .... everyone getting excited about what 2015 is going to bring!

So, with a slightly electric new look - and one of my Mum's positive drawings - I am looking forward to a fun, friendly, frantic & fantastic year.

I am told by those who have a really positive outlook on life and are always 'half-full' (rather than my usual 'just about in the middle' viewpoint), that this promises to be a really good year.  For myself and my family, I am pretty sure that will be the case - new jobs, engagement(s), new homes .... all looking good.

For the poor souls who have no option but to scratch their survival from the bomb-ravaged hell that is Syria, or the unfortunates who have to live a semi-life under the scourge that is ISIS, the millions in Africa, North Korea and numerous other repressive regimes .... I can only hope for them that their lives improve.

For those who suffer illness, my fellow cancer fighters, the aged and infirm - I'm right alongside you in your battle.  And, as the numerous fundraising challenges (who can forget 2014's 'ice bucket challenge'?) attest - so are millions of other people around the world. Don't give up guys.

And to all my poor friends & family in South Africa, who suffer the slings & arrows of incompetent leaders and have to battle without basic infrastructure like electricity, or any sort of half-decent postal service .... believe me, it could be a lot worse .... but our thoughts, prayers and sympathies are with you all!

So come on 2015 .... SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE GOT ...!

An 'Engaging' New Year's Celebration

Welcome 2015 ... you have shown every sign of growing into a really good year...!

On the 31st December, as the sun rose over the water in Camps Bay, Cape Town, marking the final day of 2014, something special was afoot. 

It had been quite a year, all in all - we sold our flat in London (Battersea) and our home in Windsor. That took a while, as regular readers will know. 

But it all came right in the end and we moved into our lovely new home in Ascot.

We had a few lovely holidays - caught up with old friends in Turkey and family & friends in South Africa and Switzerland (and Julia did some shopping in the US..!)

I completed a consultancy role at Thames Water and took a few weeks off ... then was asked back again to 'babysit' the role again for a few more months.  

And that too came to an end just before Christmas ... just in time to spend some quality time decorating the new apartment and settling-in.  

Julia was in and out of the UK on various business trips during the year, generating loads of dosh for her company and spreading her educational IT around the globe.  She joined a group of Colleges & Higher Education academies as a Governor (on their Board of Governors).  

She is also advising business leaders, government ministers and even royalty on how to use technology to improve education for children (especially girls).  Not bad for a 'Northern Lass' ...!  

My Mum flourished in 2014. It takes a while to get over losing a husband (especially when you've been married & together for over 50 years), but despite the trials & tribulations of family life, she had developed a whole new life last year.  

Organising & decorating 'her' home was a seminal event and the newly recovered chairs were a triumph.  All topped-off by her Christmas present - a lovely large painting of a fox, with a big silver frame, that now has pride of place in the lounge. 

Not to mention the new-found 'career' volunteering for the Save the Children Charity.  Twice a week she manages the shop selling donated clothes, jewellery, crockery, toys, books, CD's, etc.  And massively increasing their turnover .... something to do with a skill in talking to customers!  Dad would be so proud.

Daughter Lauren, an Account Director at a PR company, helped the business develop and grow new business with big brands like BMW.

There was even a trip to New York to develop an alcoholic drinks client.  Not a lot of shopping though!  And just before Christmas she accepted a new job - handling 'Consumer PR' for the Lawn Tennis Association (LTA).   I hear Wimbledon calling..!  #prouddad 


And she and Ryan celebrated their second wedding anniversary and even managed a cheeky two weeks in Croatia to catch-up on some sunshine...!  

Son Joe's business is no longer 'new' ... he and his business partner have been building the company for over two years now and it is coming along nicely.  Watch out Richard Branson - new kids are on the block..! And I'm looking forward to enjoying the fruits..... 

Joe and his girlfriend Kate had moved into their new house in London and set about deconstructing it - and refurbishing the place into a snazzy little two-bedroom London 'pad' (those of you not familiar with the excruciating costs of London accommodation, or comparing to what could be purchased in South Africa, should adjust your mental image accordingly.  No indoor swimming pool, for example).

Anyway, the house is now coming along in leaps & bounds and Kate's 'nest' is looking really cozy.  We all visited them (and the two cats) on Boxing Day - for a lovely, relaxing Festive celebration.  And then they were off for a two-week holiday to South Africa.


Which brings us back to Joseph and the beach at Camps Bay.

After being frustrated in a bid to climb Table Mountain (wind!), Joe & Kate decided to spend the early morning on one of South Africa's most beautiful beaches.  It is a place I know well and I too have spent mornings there watching the sun creep slowly out of the sea, breathing its warmth into the sand and, quite frequently, waking the slumbering revellers too drunk to move after passing-out on the beach..!

In any event, a short trip over some rocks and they settled down to watch the sun ... whereupon he produced a rather lovely ring (if I may say so) and popped the question ... and she said YES!

It is rare that I start a new year off with quite such a spring in my step, but this year we are all skipping.  Joe is the son I would have chosen, if I could have .. and Kate is a beautiful young woman.  A delicate soul and has already captured my heart - and those of all our family. 

So - CONGRATULATIONS guys.

And a happy, healthy, prosperous and fun-filled New Year to you all.....!

A White Christmas...!

Hello ... and Merry Christmas!  

The trees are still up, the fairly-lights twinkling; the piles of presents now disappeared and replaced by swirling tufts of wrapping paper & ribbon; turkey/chicken bones picked clean and round tummies betraying the post-lunch snooze .... Christmas 2014 is DONE!

And what a happy time most of us were lucky enough to enjoy.

Santa has a strange old time in London this year.  We moved into our new apartment on the 2nd December, so he didn't have much chance to get organised in Ascot.  

The apartment took-up most of Santa's budget too - which was a very welcome gift by the way..!

Mind you, he did manage a fair old pile of presents, given the financial constraints of moving (although again, once the children visited just before they went off to celebrate Christmas with their families, those piles reduced significantly...!).

Julia and I decided to have a low-key, quiet Christmas this year, just the two of us and my Mum.  

I collected my Mum at 9.30 in the morning and brought her home - and immediately dialled-up her grandchildren in Australia using Apple's 'Face-time'.  Granddaughter Sarah was with her mother, but the two boys had spent the day with their Dad and they were winding-down in the evening over there.  Beers in hand and looking well fed and 'presented'..!

It is difficult to express the joy that a face-to-face call can generate.  

Mum sat in front of the large iMac with its big screen and was able to talk to her grandsons and see them in high-definition, brilliant colour and crisp as anything.  She BEAMED...!

I said to (ex) brother-in-law Harry: "it is so easy to just be normal and allow life's little, normal things to happen - which can bring such simple joy".

Then we sat in the lounge and opened our presents, before the expertly-prepared roast chicken was consumed and a bit of quiet TV was watched (despite the slight snoring which may have occurred...!).

And now we look forward to the new year.  

It is freezing cold outside at the moment (snow up north and temperatures below freezing outside here). Tonight is due to go down to about -5 deg ... luckily we'll be wrapped-up warm and enjoying our little nest.

The little Robin is about and some daffodils are already raising their heads (a few even flowered, although this week's temperature may have taken them out..!).  But we have passed the mid-winter solstice and can start looking forward to 2015.  

The possibilities, the opportunities ... Spring isn't too far away.

In the mean time, wishing you all a very festive (remaining) holiday season and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

Cheers!

Festive Cheer!

Today is the 12^th December and Christmas once again approached, bearing gifts and goodwill, like a benevolent M&S Fairy trailing sparkles and fairy dust.

December will always be bitter-sweet … we lost my Dad in December three years ago.  Every year we celebrate his life with my Mum, sometimes with an early Family Christmas meal (complete with turkeys, silly hats and party games) but this year, having just moved into the new apartment, we went low-key and took my Mum to see the movie Paddington.

For all of you who are children at heart, this is a movie for you.  His little bear face, innocence and love of marmalade will set your heart strings humming and you cannot fail to simply `feel good’. 

My Mum was SO excited and she was completely caught-up in the wonder-world of `the bear from darkest Peru’ for almost two hours.  

If I was of a mind, I might be tempted to think the old man was manipulating us and making sure Mum wasn’t too sad.  He of all people knew how she loves such child-like fantasies.

Anyway, today is also my last day with the current contract - with Thames Water, the largest water utility company in the UK.  Hooray … time for a break and away from the politics.  

Don’t know how anything gets done sometimes with all the posturing, manipulation, backstabbing and nonsense ….  but I’ll be sad to say goodbye to some of the team who are really lovely people and deserve so much better!

 It does allow me to focus on the new apartment though!

As readers will know, this has been a long time coming. We started planning to `downsize’ in February 2014.  We sold our house in Windsor in April/May, but a combination of legal issues (the actual house boundaries did not align with the registered Land Registry plan) and lazy/tardy lawyers (not ours!) meant that the process was drawn-out so that we ended-up only moving into the new apartment on December 2^nd 2014.  A ten-month process, but it was worth every minute of that…!

Our new home is a penthouse apartment in Ascot, about four minutes’ drive from the famous racecourse, with its own roof garden (not much use at the moment, aside from providing a snow patch in which to keep wine chilled..! But will come into its own in Spring, with a lovely BBQ/Braai, outdoor dinner table and separate chill-out seating area).  

The main room (Lounge, kitchen, Dining room) is a large, open- plan area and the installation of the new speakers (that I bought myself as a present earlier this year) provide a sumptuous, relaxing area.  

I just pour myself into the couch, turn on some good music and chill.  Lovely - one of life’s great pleasures!

Mum & the children are suitably impressed and wander around with amazed looks on their faces. For a girl of humble beginnings (from her family’s little terraced house in Luton), my Mum sometimes marvels at the journey she and her family have taken over the past 80 years. 

She really loves the new apartment and couldn’t be happier for us.

So, on to Christmas, once the decorator has finished painting & some of the `statement’ wallpaper has been put up …. the big pile of presents under the Christmas tree will be reduced as children visit us ahead of the actual Christmas (one is going off to a country Manor House in the Cotswolds, the other off to SA for a bit of sunshine) and Mum, Julia and I will be left to celebrate a quiet Christmas by ourselves. Low-key, very relaxed, lots of telly and nibble-food (no great big roast). No need to dress up, travel, or obligations to do/talk/listen/perform…!

I shall be enjoying the sound system though, even if it is Michael Bublé singing Christmas songs…!

Winter Wonders...

So … it seems like ages since I wrote something here. In fact, it is ages since I wrote.

Partly this is because we went travelling and spent time in South Africa (visiting friends & family) and then also in Turkey, where we worked on our tans (a faint blush in my case … almost black in my wife’s), ate too much and spent time at the pool or on the boat in the magnificent Turkish Bay.

The boats known locally as a `Gulet’ are almost floating hotels … food, drink, sleep if you want, dive in & swim in the sea if you want ….  It was, as you can imagine, a real chore and deeply difficult to endure.

Well, leaving and coming home was, at any rate…!

And then I was immediately requested to take up the role I had only just finished, as the guy who they had appointed was needed on an urgent `mission’, so would I mind terribly holding the fort for him.

Not really, said I, as long as we bump-up the day-rate and resolve some of the concerning issues……  Consequently I have been a tad busy since then.

And then there was the whole issue of the house.  We had it on the market you see.

We sold it and had an offer accepted on a lovely penthouse apartment in Ascot.  With a roof garden for my wife, so she still has plants to grow - and for me so I still get to listen to the birds and watch the trees…!

At which point we discovered a small sliver of land on our property that didn’t appear on the original deeds.  Cue multiple lawyers, management committees, the Council, Land Registry and any number of other hangers-on.

I have no wish to denigrate the honourable legal profession, but let’s just say it has taken an awful long time for everyone to sign a legal document, that everyone all agreed was correct and necessary to begin with.

God knows what must happen when someone disagrees….!

To cut a long story short though, we have formally exchanged contracts today. YAHOO…!  And we move into our new home in December, just in time to celebrate Christmas as we start another new chapter.

And all of this as Jack Frost starts to make his annual appearance and the Winter season fastens its grip on our lives. 

I’m hoping for a bit of snow this Christmas – the trees in the new garden are immense and will look fabulous groaning under the weight of layers of crisp, white snow. 

And we’ll have a little roof garden to feed the Robin, who follows us around and sings to me whenever I’m outside.

To my wife, who has managed this legal torture garden … Well Done and Thank You.  You are a wonderful, special, talented lady. 


With spectacularly good taste, by the way…!

To our friends and family who are looking forward to visiting us in Ascot - and that includes you Janet, with your Ascot Bucket List, Brenda, for your next trip, the McNaughties, who have been on this journey with us for years already (and not forgetting joining us in Turkey), my Mum, the children in all your guises ... and many, many others..



.... we’re looking forward to seeing you!