Memories

This week has been poignant - it would have been Dad's 82nd birthday if he had still been with us.  It is a more pleasant anniversary to remember than that of his death, but it still brings some heartache and sadness.

Nonetheless, it is an opportunity to revisit some memories and perhaps a chance to smile at some of his 'specialness'.  Not just to us, his immediate family, but to many others whose lives he touched.

My earliest memories of the man who was (like almost every other little boy) my hero.  The dark hair, the smile when he picked me up in his arms (which he could do when I was a kid - not so much in later years...!), the smell of Dad - bringing with it the familiar feelings of protection, trust, warmth ....

Consider the cool-looking dude with his son sitting on his VW Beetle.  Not a particularly flash motor by current standards I'll grant you, but not bad for the boy from East London (South Africa), who dragged himself up from an extremely modest background.
His mother was abandoned by her feckless husband - I will not tire you with his story, sufficient to say that he was abusive to wife and children; a loser whose father wrote of him that he was "a scoundrel, a cad ...".


Dad's education with the Christian Brothers that was cut short by a need to start earning money by the time he was 15 ... and he didn't stop until he was well into his 50's.


The happy little boy staring out of the photo quickly grew into a real 'man about town'.

He took up Ballroom Dancing to strengthen a damaged ankle and became really quite good - winning numerous championships (the winner's certificates long since destroyed).

By the time I was in a position to understand things properly, he had risen to the heady heights of 'Toys & Stationery Buyer' for a national retail chain.

In the 70's, that was quite significant, as depicted in the photo where he relaxes in a 1st-Class window seat on a national airline carrier, probably BOAC.

Note the space .... anyone seen seats like that recently on an international flight...?


Later, as I was finishing my schooling, Dad was appointed Director at Pick 'n Pay (South Africa's principle retailer) and General Manager of a number of their Hypermarkets.


The cowboy hat was a result of some themed-celebration - he is in the process of toasting their success...!

It was there that he picked-out his Mercedes Benz - an E-Class, deep green and the love of his (motoring) life ...!  It appears in many of Mum's drawings.

After some 40 years of hard work - and any number of ups & downs - he retired - and he & Mum moved down to the coast, where he had built the first of two houses he would personally 'oversee' (see earlier Blog).

He took up carpentry, worked on his golf and became master of 'Rosebud' ... the bulldog!  Well, to be honest, I'm not sure who was the boss, but he loved her like a child and was devastated when she died (cancer I think).

During this time, Dad makes a number of appearances in Mum's letters ..... 

Golf ...?

...... Gardening... 

He was, as I remember him, at his most happy and content when he lived in Greyton.  This picture was taken at his 70th birthday celebration - at one of the little restaurants in the village - surrounded by his friends and family.  And a bottle or two of wine...!

Life in Greyton was very quiet, 'laid-back' and relaxing (unless it had to do with the issue of water).  Fresh water was (still is!) routed through the village by a system of small canals ("lei water").  Each property has a designated time when they should open their own sluice-gate and allow the water to fill their pond, water their garden, etc.

Turns out this was a much abused system (especially by the 'tourists' from outside the village) and was the cause of many an argument.  Dad became a Water Warden for a while, but we were all glad when he stood down, in fear that some 'Vaalie' may actually come to bodily harm...!


I think it was 2009 when we eventually moved Mum & Dad to the UK, so we could take care of him as his disease started to rob him of his abilities.  I may return to the subject of Alzheimers and Parkinson's Disease later, but it was not an easy time for him.

I will close with a snapshot of him .... with his son, daughter and wife, in the beautiful surroundings of Saville Gardens, outside London.  It was the last time he was really able to understand that we were all together and the happiness is just visible amid the confusion and frightening frustration that was to become the prison of his mind for the next two years.

So long Dad.  We miss you.