Absent Friends

So, here I am sitting at the iMac, innocently doing my thing when suddenly a post pops-up on Facebook - from a wonderful lady and very good friend, who sadly passed away a few years back.

Not written by her, clearly ... her account is maintained by her daughters and every so often, a message 'pings' into my inbox - perhaps when one of her family are missing her, or when they post a photograph of her to keep her little face fresh in our minds.

Mo (Maureen) Pithey was a truly magnificent lady.


A towering force in the South African Newspaper industry, she wrote on any number of issues, but specialised (at least when I knew her) in Women and Teenager issues.  I worked with her on a number of events (Red Nose Day, Miss Rave [Teen] Shows, Fashion Shows, etc) and we became good mates.


Her smile was the most wonderful source of light and joy, crinkling her face and squeezing her eyes together in genuine pleasure; her raucous laughter, cackling down the corridors of 'Newspaper Power', mischievous eyes never missing a trick; her wicked ability to manipulate the South African Gay patois to skewer annoying fellow journalists, or officious people in power .... I loved her.

Through Mo, I was introduced to a whole world of fabulous, wonderful people - journalists, models, show producers, drag queens, dancers, photographers, agents, gymnasts, acrobats, circus performers, magicians and comedians, of every shade, religion, background, sexual persuasion and culture.

She opened my eyes to this magnificent smorgasbord of a world we inhabit.

I remember very fondly various occasions where we would be riding the wave of mayhem and madness - perhaps a marquee that had been torn apart and blown away in a major storm, requiring a last-minute change of venue for a Fashion Show ....

.... or the time we discovered that the 'teenager' who had arrived as a finalist in a 14-16 year old Teen Show - was actually an early 20's adult who had left the hotel where the group were staying and was drinking & carousing up a storm in the nightclubs of Cape Town (not the girl below - she won Miss Rave and was a lovely girl. Gorgeous too!).

Hiiiiilda Girl ! ... she would scream, cackling with laughter once we sorted things out, crinkling her eyes through the smoke, or settling down over a coffee to dissect the evening's events in gloriously funny detail.  The photo below shows her sitting next to me as we judged some event - probably a Miss Rave (teen) qualifier ... along with the sponsor and a local DJ.

This morning I was slowly getting into the Sunday groover when marvellous Mo suddenly popped into frame and, once again, made me smile and laugh .... she's able to brighten my day even when she's no longer with us.  She and I were in contact in 2010/11 when she was starting to plan her (and husband Doug) move to the UK.  Sadly, she never made it (although I still see Doug - and daughter Bodine - every so often), but her spirit is as strong as ever.

And, as ever. Mo reminds me of the important things in life .... don't sweat the small things, but make sure you cover the big ones.  Take a moment to remember absent friends every so often - you'll find it makes your troubles seem so much easier to deal with!

I'll close with the words I wrote to Mo (or 'Mumsy' as some of us were fortunate enough to be permitted to call her) when I heard of her passing.

I shall miss your laugh Mumsy.

Thank you for your friendship and that wry sense of the ridiculous.

The world really does seem a slightly less interesting place without you.

Be gentle with them up there.....

xxxxxxx